Don’t Ask, by Johann Lux

(F.F.F. Website Story)

My neighbor Jack was a Chief in the U.S. Navy. A lifer, Jack retired, lived on a small farm and passed away in his sleep.

Jack’s lawyer informed me that I inherited Jack’s beloved pet parrot, and left the bird on my porch.

While feeding the bird cashews, I asked if Polly wanted a cracker. The bird immediately responded with a string of profanities; including where I could stick the cracker.

Days later, three people promoting their religion arrived at my door. The elderly woman in the trio handed me a pamphlet and jokingly asked, “Does Polly want a cracker?”

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