Jock Surpass Runs for President, by Gordon Lawrie

Faraway Plutonians could see that self-made trillionaire Jock Surpass was making waves in the Uranus Presidential election.

“There’s lots of rubbish emanating from Uranus at the moment,” said one Plutonian. “If elected, Surpass promises to rename the planet ‘Surpass Uranus’. There’s already a Surpass Sea and a Mount Surpass. And he’s promising to make Uranus Great Again as the centre of the Surpass System.”

“More like Bypass Uranus,” said another (a Plutonian joke). “But he’ll not get elected this year.”

“Because?”

“Uranus years are 84 Earth years long. He’ll die before election day.”

“How true! Cup of tea to celebrate?”

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