“The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas would soon come to share.
“Poor kids! I’ve been grounded: Paris Climate Advice.
No coal for the Naughties, no gifts for the Nice.
“Who knew my sleigh was a Volkswagen edition,
Rigged with a chip to fake its emissions?
“Confoundit! Darnit! Vexing! How Stupid!
My elves’ work is wasted, the world’s air too soot’ed.
“What’s more! My name! ‘A PC transgression.’
My Sainthood, it seems, is simply too Christian.
“Children are children, they all need Love’s light.
Carbon Foot Print be darned, I’m coming –Tonight!”