Afternoon all. Two for the price of one this week. World leaders don’t ask me to write their speeches, but they should… Here’s what might happen if they did.
For the Sake of Auld Lang Syne, by Emma Baird
At this time of year, it’s common to reflect on the last 12 months – what went well and what could have been done better.
Who am I to flout tradition? I too shall reflect. The successes:
The British public defied the polls and voted overwhelmingly in my favour. So, no more pandering (or just pretending to listen) to whingeing liberals. Bring on the public sector and welfare cuts!
Our economic strategies continue to triumph. Where there is doubt about Conservatives, we point this out.
And finally, I got my way when it comes to military tactics. Bring on the bombs!