Photoshoot by Gordon Lawrie

“Yeah, that’s what they all say,” said the photographer, getting ready.

“I mean it,” she insisted from behind her mahogany desk. “I’ll break the camera. I always do.”

“Look, your company wants publicity photographs of all new Board members. Smile, please!”

Something tinkled quietly. Dismayed, the photographer realised his upmarket Canon’s lens had shattered. He tried a Nikon, then his beloved Leica. Same thing, each destroyed.

“Told you,” said the woman. “I’m ugly.”

The photographer looked; she might be right, though it would be wrong to say so. But in the end the company settled for an artist’s line sketch.

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